Box 16 -verbal snapshot

When I walk into the old, wooden double doors at Fairbanks rehabilitation center I am immediately focused on the huge ligneous panels that have the twelve steps of A.A and N.A carved on them. They take up most of the wall at the front of the room. They look worn and like they have been through a lot. There is a small,proscenium stage directly below the panels that comes out about fifteen feet. The stage is covered with a flax like material with colors of green and blue. It looks fairly dingy from all the footsteps acquired throughout the many years of meetings. There are your typical gray plastic chairs in rows proceeding the stage. Chairs are also stacked up in sets of five along side the walls perpendicular to the rows. In the back of the room, when you first walk in, there is a small table where about three people can sit at. This table is filled with tiny pamphlets describing anything from alcoholics to overeaters. The table looks like it had just been sitting around at the rehabilitation center and someone just decided to take it and use it for the meetings. The rooms color scheme could put me to sleep. It's plain white bringing nothing of aesthetically pleasing value to the room. I wish they would make it more interesting. The aromas of anything from coffee to tea and peanuts to popcorn fill the air. I think this is because eating or drinking something takes your mind off of an addiction. It's an old oral fixation remedy. The lighting in the room is extremely bright because of the long, florescent bulbs in the ceiling. The ceilings are very tall. It is the kind of ceiling with squares and white, metal frames holding them.

Focal Point

My focal point is the peoples stories. What brought them there, what kind of family they came from, and how being an alcoholic has effected their lives. When you walk into an AA meeting, their are rows of chairs for people to sit. There is a table in the back of the room where the leaders or presenters normally sit. There are pamphlets on the table about AA NA and other programs. This table is also where the court and hospital ordered people get their papers signed. Lastly there are baskets for offerings on that table. In the front of the room there is a mini stage with a podium where people go up to speak at. On the walls of the stage there are two huge signs on either side of the podium. One that describes the 12 steps of AA and one that describes the steps of NA. The walls of the room are really boring and just plain white. The podium looks old and theres nothing really special about it. There are all types of people at the meetings. Some people dress up and some people dress down, but each person has their own captivating story to tell. What has intrigued me the most about the meetings is realizing that everyone, not just alcoholics have a story. I want to focus on individuals stories because it is what intrigues me the most. I wonder what kind of family each person came from? I wonder what led them to turn to alcohol or what got them started? I wonder how long they've been sober and if, at all, how many times they've relapsed.

box 13

Sister Ignatia started the use of coins in medallions in Alcoholics Anonymous.

She was a nun who helped start the program at St. Johns hospital. She would give

the alcoholics a heart medallion after they had reached five days of sobriety. She would

remind them that the token meant that they were making a commitment to god, AA, and to themselves to remain sober. If they were going to drink they had the responsibility of

giving the heart medallion back to sister. Then the use of coins and medallions started growing.

There are birthdays in AA. Your birthday is your anniversary of the day you stopped drinking. On certain days you receive a new coin for sobriety and you get a coin on your birthday. They range in sizes, but they almost always have the serenity prayer on them or a saying of AA.

The coins are very encouraging to the people of AA. It gives them something to show for their sobriety and it means a lot to them. Most people get really excited to get coins and it is their inspiration to keep going. Coins in AA are a very important factor in the success of the program.

fieldnotes 1

FIELDNOTES WEEK 1

the 12 steps of AA are on one side

of the room and the 12 steps of NA are

on the right side of the room

hmmm thats a lot of steps to accomplish!

there is a podium at the front of the room

i wonder if someones going to give a speech?

people are chatting before the meeting starts

it looks like a lot of these people know eachother

and come on a weekly basis

there are people from the impatient part of the hospital all sitting together

scary!!! i would hate to be in their position and its sad that most of them are so young!

an old man walks to the podium and tells us we are

going to talk about step #5 -Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs

i wonder how he got to be the one to start off the meetings

a guy is telling his story about being an alcoholic

AW SOOOO SAD :( i want to talk to him at the next meeting!

once i get some courage!

they are passing around a collection basket for money

okay, this is beginning to feel like church?! 12 steps? 12 commandments?

hmmmm

at the end of the meeting we said the serenity prayer and all held hands

and then they said a saying that was something like this "it wont work if you dont work it" ..

I'll have to memorize it once i keep coming

people gather around and talk after the meeting and get the

leader to sign their documents for the courts and hospitals

i wonder what they did to get them here?

What surprised me?

-The collection of money.. that was strange... what do they need money for?

What intrigued me?

-The guys story... there were a lot of emotions involved.. it was really sad but

really touching

What disturbed me?

-the kids from the inpatient unit.. they looked really rough

Today our guest speakers were Desiree Howell and Brandon Schultz. They came to talk about personality types and how they play a role in our society. After taking a test, I found that my personality type was ENFP. Which stands for: extrovert, intuitive, feeling, and perceptive. Which means I am warmly enthusiastic, high-spirited, ingenious, imaginative. I am able to do almost anything that interests me. I am quick with a solution for any difficulty and ready to help anyone with a problem. I often rely on my ability to improvise instead of preparing in advance. I can usually find compellig reasons for whatever they want. After talking about the personalities we figured out that there are established stereotypes about some of the letters. When describing the different types of personalities and what the letters stand for Desiree Howell said, "Sometimes people think that because I am a T for thinking that I am a bitch, or on the other hand are predestined into thinking Brandon is a wuss because he is an F for feeling."1 There are a lot of stereotypes involved with different personality traits. Some people perceive things differently, but for example: Just because someone is an introvert, doesn't mean that they are boring and don't have fun.

1. Howell, Desiree. "Myers-Briggs Type Indicator." 2010 Counseling Center Presentation.

Lafollette, Muncie. 4 Feb. 2010. Lecture.

Peer Review for Emily Yu

Your Name: Taylor Szalaiy

Writer’s Name: Emily Yu

Does the writer state a thesis at the end of the first paragraph that explains why she wants to study a particular subculture and does s/he make a claim about how his or her view of that subculture has been formed? If you can’t find a thesis point this out here.

If you can find a thesis, rewrite the thesis here:

Being a Taiwanese-Born Asian that has minimal knowledge about the Koreans, I want to learn more about their culture such as; if they have as strict parents as I do, and if they have the similar personality or family background as the Korean dramas that I always watch

Does the thesis make an argument that a reasonable person could disagree with? If yes, what? If no, suggest a thesis based on the paper.

Yes -- she wants to know if her culture is anything like the Korean culture and if what she thinks is true

What subculture is named in the paper?

KSA - Korean Student Association

Could the thesis need to be more concise or more complex?

perfect

Is the thesis specific enough to have meaning? Make a suggestion that pushes the language towards more specific meaning:

yeah ..

How does the essay address the writer’s fixed position in connection with his or her potential subculture? Quote from the paper to explain.

'Dislike seems to be the attitude my family has towards Koreans. I have always learned from my parents that Korean people are extremely mean and cheap, but they are extremely advanced in technology development with extremely stylish fashion'

- She was brought up to feel a certain way about Koreans

- Pick a different word other than extremely

What does the writing tell you about this student’s subjective position? Quote from the paper to explain.

'From the myths that I have heard from my parents, I recently developed some doubts about Korean families'

-Her background as an Asian has given her certain beliefs about the Korean subculture

What does the writing tell you about this student’s textual position?

Quote from the paper to explain.

'All in all, I believe that what I have observed and heard are not all quite the truth about the Koreans'

-She understands her views might be flawed so she wants to research to find out

Does the essay seem like a story or does it seem too formal? Suggest where narrative elements might serve as good examples.

She tells stories about her family and what they think.

Does each paragraph seem to be an appropriate length, with only one main idea per paragraph? If not, what specific suggestions do you have to make this paper better organized?

-New paragraphs for new thoughts..

What suggestions do you have to make the content of this paper better?

-sentence structure.. and its a little choppy

What do you think the strength of this paper is?

-the fact that Koreans and Asians conflict at times and they're both brought up to have certain beliefs about the other subculture

What are the weaknesses?

The sentence structure

What’s missing?

n/a

What’s unnecessary?

talks a little too much about the dramas

Mark on the manuscript any important grammar/spelling mistakes.

Fill out the following chart, adding your comments about each component.

CRITERIA

READER'S COMMENTS

Weak Satisf. Strong

_____ _____ ____X_ Thesis: clear, important, risky

Comments:

_____ _____ X _____ Evidence: relevance, strength, credibility

Comments:

_____ ___X__ _____ Organization: arrangement of ideas, guiding the reader

Comments:

_____ __X___ _____ Mechanics: spelling, grammar, punctuation

Comments:

_____ _____ ___X__ Overall effectiveness: Was the relationship between the author’s background and their subculture clear? Were you convinced of the effects?

Comments:

Peer Review for Peter Wilhelm

Your Name: Taylor Szalaiy

Writer’s Name: Peter Wilhelm

Does the writer state a thesis at the end of the first paragraph that explains why s/he wants to study a particular subculture and does s/he make a claim about how his or her view of that subculture has been formed? If you can’t find a thesis point this out here.

If you can find a thesis, rewrite the thesis here:

My topic or culture I wish to gain more knowledge about is the gay community at Ball State University.

Does the thesis make an argument that a reasonable person could disagree with? If yes, what? If no, suggest a thesis based on the paper.

It’s just not very interesting… spice it up !

What subculture is named in the paper?

The gay community at BSU

Could the thesis need to be more concise or more complex?

More complex.. its too broad

Is the thesis specific enough to have meaning? Make a suggestion that pushes the language towards more specific meaning:

Being friend to a couple gay students at Ball State, …. Say how you feel .. maybe talk about how the stereotypes offend you because you’re friends with them but that you still have learning to do about them?

How does the essay address the writer’s fixed position in connection with his or her potential subculture? Quote from the paper to explain.

Yes….‘When it comes to my topic I think my age group, 17-20 year olds, know the most and are more knowledgeable about it. …. I also believe females tend to know more gay people than males. I think this because gay guys feel more comfortable telling women that they are gay.’

What does the writing tell you about this student’s subjective position? Quote from the paper to explain.

Yes….‘As for my background, I know many gay people mostly because I have a lot who live on my floor, many of whom I am friends with.’

-he gives a background as to why he thinks he should be the one speaking about gays

What does the writing tell you about this student’s textual position?

Quote from the paper to explain.

Yes… ‘My reasons for choosing the gay community at Ball State are neither negative nor positive. I am simply hoping to gain more knowledge about the gays because they are a very large and foreign subculture.’

--maybe explain a little more

Does the essay seem like a story or does it seem too formal? Suggest where narrative elements might serve as good examples.

Perfect… Not too formal, not too story like…. He tells about his gay friends which helps… he could maybe describe them a little bit more though.

Does each paragraph seem to be an appropriate length, with only one main idea per paragraph? If not, what specific suggestions do you have to make this paper better organized?

Yes.. changes subjects with paragraphs

What suggestions do you have to make the content of this paper better?

-Not be as repetitive and irrelevant .. Describe things a little more.. More emotions and make it more personal..?

What do you think the strength of this paper is?

-The fact that he as friends that are gay and he is a straight guy… but still respects the gay community

What are the weaknesses?

-The sentence structure

What’s missing?

-Personality

What’s unnecessary?

-Explaining that its ‘fixed’ , or it’s ‘research’ etc…. he should find a different way to say it without using the words

Mark on the manuscript any important grammar/spelling mistakes.

Fill out the following chart, adding your comments about each component.

CRITERIA

READER'S COMMENTS

Weak Satisf. Strong

____X_ _____ _____ Thesis: clear, important, risky

Comments:

_____ ____X_ _____ Evidence: relevance, strength, credibility

Comments:

_____ _____ ___X__ Organization: arrangement of ideas, guiding the reader

Comments:

_____ ___X__ _____ Mechanics: spelling, grammar, punctuation

Comments:

_____ _____ __X___ Overall effectiveness: Was the relationship between the author’s background and their subculture clear? Were you convinced of the effects?

Comments: