Serenity Club in Muncie--
A guy in his fifties is leading the meeting.. he talks about how hes gotta stay sober for his kids
--this makes me happy!
Another guy talks about how hes been sober for nine years
---HOLY SHIT!
there are a bunch of people from ball state nursing in the meeting
---I feel like i know more than them.. i feel cool!
another man talks about how he is a trucker and how he would get drunk at the truck stops and that one day his partner got sick of him and just left him in muncie indiana with nothing and that hes been here ever since
---thats just scary.. im blown away
he tells us that he has his dream car, a house, and pays for his kids child support now that he is sober
--- im glad hes on the right track
another guy says that its the people in this room that keep him coming back
--- I think that the support of others is crucial for alcoholics
We say the serenity prayer
--- I know all the traditions now and i feel as if i fit in and have authority
Wednesday, April 28, 2010
fieldnotes 6
A small meeting with three people-
A boy walks in that looks a lot younger than me
---I wonder why he is here
an old man is going to lead the meeting
---i hope he doesnt put me to sleep
start to talk about the stories and the younger boy tells us he got a DUI and his parents are making him attend thirty meetings in thirty days
---Ive heard that this is a common thing for people to do
asks if anyone wants a coin and no one needs one
---i want to ask for one but im too afraid!
An older lady made snacks for the meeting
---YUUUM! glad i came to this one
We talk about how important is to make amends with people -- well alcoholics.. for people they have hurt
---i think i could probably do this with a couple people myself.. even though im not an alcoholic
everyone tells about who they hurt in there life.. i say my mom.. because ive put her through a lot in my day
---i think the people respect that i am participating
meeting ends the normal way
---smiles :)
A boy walks in that looks a lot younger than me
---I wonder why he is here
an old man is going to lead the meeting
---i hope he doesnt put me to sleep
start to talk about the stories and the younger boy tells us he got a DUI and his parents are making him attend thirty meetings in thirty days
---Ive heard that this is a common thing for people to do
asks if anyone wants a coin and no one needs one
---i want to ask for one but im too afraid!
An older lady made snacks for the meeting
---YUUUM! glad i came to this one
We talk about how important is to make amends with people -- well alcoholics.. for people they have hurt
---i think i could probably do this with a couple people myself.. even though im not an alcoholic
everyone tells about who they hurt in there life.. i say my mom.. because ive put her through a lot in my day
---i think the people respect that i am participating
meeting ends the normal way
---smiles :)
Tuesday, April 27, 2010
Peer Review- Haley Clark
Research Question/Roadmap
1. Does it pose a question? Does the paper identify tensions? Does it say what it’s going to do and what its point is?
She wants to get a closer look and discover the interesting world that people who participate in medieval recreations live in...
Theme
2. What is the quality of the content of the writing: the ideas, perceptions, and point of view? In your words, what is being said? Is it more than a collection of thoughts and observations? According to the author, why does this whole thing matter?
I think that shes trying to say that there is really no way to define normalcy. No one has the authority to say what is normal and what isn't and if you do than you are very close-minded. She does a great job of telling us what she is thinking through the whole research process.
3. Is there too much abstraction or generalization? Underline or circle this language in the paper. In other words, are there so few details, examples and explanations that it ends up dull, empty, impossible to experience? Or, perhaps even impossible to understand? Explain.
In the interview with Sarah.. the part starting with "sometimes.. when i.." was kind of hard to understand. Sarah is an older lady and at the beginning it says that she would be interacting with people that are her age.
4. Is there too little abstraction or generalization and too much clutter of details, examples, and explanations? Too little standing back for perspective? Too little forest per tree?
I think there is a little bit too much generalization.. She needs to get a little bit deeper and look for an interesting thing to talk about that no one would think of. Nothing really made me say 'WOWWWW.. i would have never guessed!' So she might want to work on that a bit.
5. What is the practical significance of the artifact? What idea does it represent?
She talked about a cross-stich, but needs to get into greater detail about it. I think its cool that the cross-stich is used as a sort of promise ring for people in relationships.
6. What is the significance of Interview 1? Tells us an insiders perspective of what others think say about the subculture and if they wear there clothes out in public. They don't really care that the outfits might look funny because they like them and its like their uniform.
7. What is the significance of Interview 2? Talks about the group possibly becoming mainstream and the stereotypes an insider thinks there are
8. Are all 3 required scholarly sources developed in the conclusions? NO
9. Is all source material cited according to MLA, both parenthetically and in a Works Cited?
No works cited provided
10. Do the conclusions satisfy the issues the study raises with complexity? How so?
I think that the conclusions should have more complexity to them. They should be more interesting and stand out.
Structure
11. Is the whole thing unified? Is there a central idea to which everything pertains?
What? Are there loose ends that don’t seem purposefully so, but accidently overlooked?
Its unified, but missing some things... Like an artifact. Everything pertains to her trying to either banish or affirm the stereotypes
12. Are the parts arranged in a coherent, logical narrative sequence?
They seemed to be in the right order.. Purpose,Background,Interviews, Conclusion
13. Were the paragraphs really paragraphs? Could you tell what each one was saying? Did they function as helpful and comfortable units of thought, not too much, not too little? Mark any that seem too short or too long.
Some of the paragraphs need to be broken up.. At one point there is a whole page that doesn't have any indentations. I could tell what each was saying.
Language
14. Are the sentences clear and readable? Underline with a wavy line any that you find incorrect or confusing.
The sentences seem to have good structure and are readable. Nothing confused me except for the cross-stich part.
15. Are the words used correctly? List any misused words. Words are used correctly.
16. Is it succinct enough? Not too long, repetitious or dull? Mark any areas for deletion.
I think that the subjective positions and background make it a little dull...It was hard to keep my attention because I thought those things were a bit unnecessary.
17. Is it full enough? Or does the writer squeeze out the juice of human communication and spoken discourse? Is the language, even if correct, dull and indigestible? Does the writer sufficiently use the language of the subculture?
She talks about Cross-stich and larpers. It's not full enough because it is missing details about artifacts. Add more language from the subculture!
18. Does the diction, mood and level of formality fit with ethnography?
The mood seems to flow throughtout the paper and fits with the ethnography.. She should dig a little deeper.. Maybe a bit too formal.
Readerly Response
Describe what was happening to you as you read. Tell which words or phrases stuck out or resonated.
I didn't know what stigma meant.. So i learned something! The larper part was interesting to me.
What happened and what are the implications?
The stereotypes of them being a bit geeky are confirmed, but the people in the subculture don't mind and almost like being that way.
What ideas or beliefs or feelings were brought into this piece? How do multiple points of view contribute to your understanding?
The subculture is more based on historical accuracy than the mythical aspect which i found interesting. She should add more points of view and thoughts.
What understanding of the culture do you have from reading this piece? What gave you this understanding?
The understanding I've gained is that they don't mind that people think they are geeky or whatever. They kind of just do their own thing which I respect. The interviews helped to give me this understanding
The writer has introduced him/herself to you. Describe that meeting. What’s your impression? Did he thrust out his hand for you to shake? Did she sidle up next to you, but fail to look you in the eye? Did he send you a letter bomb or put his arm around your shoulder? Does it seem like the writer is standing on a cliff talking down to an audience below? What sense of the writer do you have? Formal? Casual? Intimate? Jocular? Arrogant? Are you with the writer, against her, or unsure since you don’t really know him?
I'd like to see more emotions in the writing. More feeling.. It's really casual.. Not very intimate. I'm with the writer because I have been in class with her. Her voice is kind of drowned out.
Is the writer giving in?
The writer needs to gain more authority
What do you want, need, or wish for?
I want to see more details and research.. more explanation about the artifacts. Maybe a little bit about the history and where medieval recreations began?
1. Does it pose a question? Does the paper identify tensions? Does it say what it’s going to do and what its point is?
She wants to get a closer look and discover the interesting world that people who participate in medieval recreations live in...
Theme
2. What is the quality of the content of the writing: the ideas, perceptions, and point of view? In your words, what is being said? Is it more than a collection of thoughts and observations? According to the author, why does this whole thing matter?
I think that shes trying to say that there is really no way to define normalcy. No one has the authority to say what is normal and what isn't and if you do than you are very close-minded. She does a great job of telling us what she is thinking through the whole research process.
3. Is there too much abstraction or generalization? Underline or circle this language in the paper. In other words, are there so few details, examples and explanations that it ends up dull, empty, impossible to experience? Or, perhaps even impossible to understand? Explain.
In the interview with Sarah.. the part starting with "sometimes.. when i.." was kind of hard to understand. Sarah is an older lady and at the beginning it says that she would be interacting with people that are her age.
4. Is there too little abstraction or generalization and too much clutter of details, examples, and explanations? Too little standing back for perspective? Too little forest per tree?
I think there is a little bit too much generalization.. She needs to get a little bit deeper and look for an interesting thing to talk about that no one would think of. Nothing really made me say 'WOWWWW.. i would have never guessed!' So she might want to work on that a bit.
5. What is the practical significance of the artifact? What idea does it represent?
She talked about a cross-stich, but needs to get into greater detail about it. I think its cool that the cross-stich is used as a sort of promise ring for people in relationships.
6. What is the significance of Interview 1? Tells us an insiders perspective of what others think say about the subculture and if they wear there clothes out in public. They don't really care that the outfits might look funny because they like them and its like their uniform.
7. What is the significance of Interview 2? Talks about the group possibly becoming mainstream and the stereotypes an insider thinks there are
8. Are all 3 required scholarly sources developed in the conclusions? NO
9. Is all source material cited according to MLA, both parenthetically and in a Works Cited?
No works cited provided
10. Do the conclusions satisfy the issues the study raises with complexity? How so?
I think that the conclusions should have more complexity to them. They should be more interesting and stand out.
Structure
11. Is the whole thing unified? Is there a central idea to which everything pertains?
What? Are there loose ends that don’t seem purposefully so, but accidently overlooked?
Its unified, but missing some things... Like an artifact. Everything pertains to her trying to either banish or affirm the stereotypes
12. Are the parts arranged in a coherent, logical narrative sequence?
They seemed to be in the right order.. Purpose,Background,Interviews, Conclusion
13. Were the paragraphs really paragraphs? Could you tell what each one was saying? Did they function as helpful and comfortable units of thought, not too much, not too little? Mark any that seem too short or too long.
Some of the paragraphs need to be broken up.. At one point there is a whole page that doesn't have any indentations. I could tell what each was saying.
Language
14. Are the sentences clear and readable? Underline with a wavy line any that you find incorrect or confusing.
The sentences seem to have good structure and are readable. Nothing confused me except for the cross-stich part.
15. Are the words used correctly? List any misused words. Words are used correctly.
16. Is it succinct enough? Not too long, repetitious or dull? Mark any areas for deletion.
I think that the subjective positions and background make it a little dull...It was hard to keep my attention because I thought those things were a bit unnecessary.
17. Is it full enough? Or does the writer squeeze out the juice of human communication and spoken discourse? Is the language, even if correct, dull and indigestible? Does the writer sufficiently use the language of the subculture?
She talks about Cross-stich and larpers. It's not full enough because it is missing details about artifacts. Add more language from the subculture!
18. Does the diction, mood and level of formality fit with ethnography?
The mood seems to flow throughtout the paper and fits with the ethnography.. She should dig a little deeper.. Maybe a bit too formal.
Readerly Response
Describe what was happening to you as you read. Tell which words or phrases stuck out or resonated.
I didn't know what stigma meant.. So i learned something! The larper part was interesting to me.
What happened and what are the implications?
The stereotypes of them being a bit geeky are confirmed, but the people in the subculture don't mind and almost like being that way.
What ideas or beliefs or feelings were brought into this piece? How do multiple points of view contribute to your understanding?
The subculture is more based on historical accuracy than the mythical aspect which i found interesting. She should add more points of view and thoughts.
What understanding of the culture do you have from reading this piece? What gave you this understanding?
The understanding I've gained is that they don't mind that people think they are geeky or whatever. They kind of just do their own thing which I respect. The interviews helped to give me this understanding
The writer has introduced him/herself to you. Describe that meeting. What’s your impression? Did he thrust out his hand for you to shake? Did she sidle up next to you, but fail to look you in the eye? Did he send you a letter bomb or put his arm around your shoulder? Does it seem like the writer is standing on a cliff talking down to an audience below? What sense of the writer do you have? Formal? Casual? Intimate? Jocular? Arrogant? Are you with the writer, against her, or unsure since you don’t really know him?
I'd like to see more emotions in the writing. More feeling.. It's really casual.. Not very intimate. I'm with the writer because I have been in class with her. Her voice is kind of drowned out.
Is the writer giving in?
The writer needs to gain more authority
What do you want, need, or wish for?
I want to see more details and research.. more explanation about the artifacts. Maybe a little bit about the history and where medieval recreations began?
Peer Review- Emily Yu
Research Question/Roadmap
1. Does it pose a question? Does the paper identify tensions? Does it say what it’s going to do and what its point is?
The paper says that she wants to find out if the Koreans had experienced the same hardships she had when first coming to America. She explains that there is tension between her subculture and the Korean subculture It doesn't really say exactly what she is going to do or what type of fieldwork she'll be getting into.
Theme
2. What is the quality of the content of the writing: the ideas, perceptions, and point of view? In your words, what is being said? Is it more than a collection of thoughts and observations? According to the author, why does this whole thing matter?
The paper is only five pages long. She is somewhat on the right track but needs to polish up her ideas and add more. Her point of view might be a little biased because of the myths she had grown up hearing. I'm not sure if it will matter in the end because the paper isn't completed.
3. Is there too much abstraction or generalization? Underline or circle this language in the paper. In other words, are there so few details, examples and explanations that it ends up dull, empty, impossible to experience? Or, perhaps even impossible to understand? Explain.
There are a lot of run-ons and things that don't really make sense.. A lot of rambling and unnecessary information. there really isn't enough to the paper for me to make assumptions, it seems a little dull
4. Is there too little abstraction or generalization and too much clutter of details, examples, and explanations? Too little standing back for perspective? Too little forest per tree?
There is too much clutter of details.. Good Background story ... No interviews or artifacts.. Not much perspective
5. What is the practical significance of the artifact? What idea does it represent?
There is no artifact in the paper
6. What is the significance of Interview 1? no interview
7. What is the significance of Interview 2? no interview
8. Are all 3 required scholarly sources developed in the conclusions? No.
9. Is all source material cited according to MLA, both parenthetically and in a Works Cited?
No works cited.
10. Do the conclusions satisfy the issues the study raises with complexity? How so?
There are no conclusions in the paper
Structure
11. Is the whole thing unified? Is there a central idea to which everything pertains?
What? Are there loose ends that don’t seem purposefully so, but accidently overlooked?
It's hard to tell because it's only 5 pages
12. Are the parts arranged in a coherent, logical narrative sequence?
They start off fine... Needs to finish the paper
13. Were the paragraphs really paragraphs? Could you tell what each one was saying?
Did they function as helpful and comfortable units of thought, not too much, not too little? Mark any that seem too short or too long.
The paragraphs were split up into logical parts. I could tell what she was trying to say. Some thoughts ramble.
Language
14. Are the sentences clear and readable? Underline with a wavy line any that you find incorrect or confusing.
Some of the sentences don't have proper sentence structure... There are a few run ons in the paper
15. Are the words used correctly? List any misused words.
It says pauper people? I don't what that means...
16. Is it succinct enough? Not too long, repetitious or dull? Mark any areas for deletion.
There is some unnecessary information and rambling.. Could use a little spice!
17. Is it full enough? Or does the writer squeeze out the juice of human communication and spoken discourse? Is the language, even if correct, dull and indigestible? Does the writer sufficiently use the language of the subculture?
The language of the subculture isnt provided. The paper isn't full enough because it isn't finished. I think she said she had too much going on and couldnt finish it..
18. Does the diction, mood and level of formality fit with ethnography?
Yes... so far.. its a good topic for her because of the myths shes heard all of her life.. Hopefully it will prove to be a good experience for her...I look forward to seeing it finished.
Readerly Response
Describe what was happening to you as you read. Tell which words or phrases stuck out or resonated.
The myths were interesting to me.. There seems to be a rivalry between her subculture and the one she chose to study.
What happened and what are the implications?
Nothing has happened yet... I assume that there may be implications because of the rivalry between the subcultures
What ideas or beliefs or feelings were brought into this piece? How do multiple points of view contribute to your understanding?
No other points of view... Needs to add interviews and what type of worldviews the subculture has
What understanding of the culture do you have from reading this piece? What gave you this understanding?
I have no understanding of the subculture except for her prior feelings about it.
The writer has introduced him/herself to you. Describe that meeting. What’s your impression? Did he thrust out his hand for you to shake? Did she sidle up next to you, but fail to look you in the eye? Did he send you a letter bomb or put his arm around your shoulder? Does it seem like the writer is standing on a cliff talking down to an audience below? What sense of the writer do you have? Formal? Casual? Intimate? Jocular? Arrogant? Are you with the writer, against her, or unsure since you don’t really know him?
She seems really sweet and a nice person. I don't think that she actually takes the myths to heart which is good. The writing is pretty casual. I'd like to see more emotions in the writing and more about how she feels.
Is the writer giving in? I'm not sure
What do you want, need, or wish for?
I'm curious to know how her meetings and interviews went! She needs to finish her paper! I'm sure it will be very interesting!
1. Does it pose a question? Does the paper identify tensions? Does it say what it’s going to do and what its point is?
The paper says that she wants to find out if the Koreans had experienced the same hardships she had when first coming to America. She explains that there is tension between her subculture and the Korean subculture It doesn't really say exactly what she is going to do or what type of fieldwork she'll be getting into.
Theme
2. What is the quality of the content of the writing: the ideas, perceptions, and point of view? In your words, what is being said? Is it more than a collection of thoughts and observations? According to the author, why does this whole thing matter?
The paper is only five pages long. She is somewhat on the right track but needs to polish up her ideas and add more. Her point of view might be a little biased because of the myths she had grown up hearing. I'm not sure if it will matter in the end because the paper isn't completed.
3. Is there too much abstraction or generalization? Underline or circle this language in the paper. In other words, are there so few details, examples and explanations that it ends up dull, empty, impossible to experience? Or, perhaps even impossible to understand? Explain.
There are a lot of run-ons and things that don't really make sense.. A lot of rambling and unnecessary information. there really isn't enough to the paper for me to make assumptions, it seems a little dull
4. Is there too little abstraction or generalization and too much clutter of details, examples, and explanations? Too little standing back for perspective? Too little forest per tree?
There is too much clutter of details.. Good Background story ... No interviews or artifacts.. Not much perspective
5. What is the practical significance of the artifact? What idea does it represent?
There is no artifact in the paper
6. What is the significance of Interview 1? no interview
7. What is the significance of Interview 2? no interview
8. Are all 3 required scholarly sources developed in the conclusions? No.
9. Is all source material cited according to MLA, both parenthetically and in a Works Cited?
No works cited.
10. Do the conclusions satisfy the issues the study raises with complexity? How so?
There are no conclusions in the paper
Structure
11. Is the whole thing unified? Is there a central idea to which everything pertains?
What? Are there loose ends that don’t seem purposefully so, but accidently overlooked?
It's hard to tell because it's only 5 pages
12. Are the parts arranged in a coherent, logical narrative sequence?
They start off fine... Needs to finish the paper
13. Were the paragraphs really paragraphs? Could you tell what each one was saying?
Did they function as helpful and comfortable units of thought, not too much, not too little? Mark any that seem too short or too long.
The paragraphs were split up into logical parts. I could tell what she was trying to say. Some thoughts ramble.
Language
14. Are the sentences clear and readable? Underline with a wavy line any that you find incorrect or confusing.
Some of the sentences don't have proper sentence structure... There are a few run ons in the paper
15. Are the words used correctly? List any misused words.
It says pauper people? I don't what that means...
16. Is it succinct enough? Not too long, repetitious or dull? Mark any areas for deletion.
There is some unnecessary information and rambling.. Could use a little spice!
17. Is it full enough? Or does the writer squeeze out the juice of human communication and spoken discourse? Is the language, even if correct, dull and indigestible? Does the writer sufficiently use the language of the subculture?
The language of the subculture isnt provided. The paper isn't full enough because it isn't finished. I think she said she had too much going on and couldnt finish it..
18. Does the diction, mood and level of formality fit with ethnography?
Yes... so far.. its a good topic for her because of the myths shes heard all of her life.. Hopefully it will prove to be a good experience for her...I look forward to seeing it finished.
Readerly Response
Describe what was happening to you as you read. Tell which words or phrases stuck out or resonated.
The myths were interesting to me.. There seems to be a rivalry between her subculture and the one she chose to study.
What happened and what are the implications?
Nothing has happened yet... I assume that there may be implications because of the rivalry between the subcultures
What ideas or beliefs or feelings were brought into this piece? How do multiple points of view contribute to your understanding?
No other points of view... Needs to add interviews and what type of worldviews the subculture has
What understanding of the culture do you have from reading this piece? What gave you this understanding?
I have no understanding of the subculture except for her prior feelings about it.
The writer has introduced him/herself to you. Describe that meeting. What’s your impression? Did he thrust out his hand for you to shake? Did she sidle up next to you, but fail to look you in the eye? Did he send you a letter bomb or put his arm around your shoulder? Does it seem like the writer is standing on a cliff talking down to an audience below? What sense of the writer do you have? Formal? Casual? Intimate? Jocular? Arrogant? Are you with the writer, against her, or unsure since you don’t really know him?
She seems really sweet and a nice person. I don't think that she actually takes the myths to heart which is good. The writing is pretty casual. I'd like to see more emotions in the writing and more about how she feels.
Is the writer giving in? I'm not sure
What do you want, need, or wish for?
I'm curious to know how her meetings and interviews went! She needs to finish her paper! I'm sure it will be very interesting!
Wednesday, April 21, 2010
What do you make of your experience?
-It's very comfortable. Everyone is really inviting and friendly. The alcoholics don't care that I am there.. If anything they see it as support. I think they like it when people visit because then they can get their own understanding of how the subculture really is and banish any stereotypes.
-I have represented them in a good way. I have made it clear that everyone is struggling with something inside and for these people it just happens to be alcohol. It is truly a life-threatening disease and I think people will respect alcoholics a lot more after hearing what I have to say.
-I got everything that I wanted out of the experience and more. It taught me a lot about the world and myself. It gave me great insight into the lives of alcoholics. To have to struggle with something like alcoholism is devastating. I have learned that everyone has problems and that someone in the world has it worse than me. After studying the subculture, I will not take things for granted and I will spend more time working on becoming a better person.
What is it like to be part of your subculture's community?
-It's very comfortable. Everyone is really inviting and friendly. The alcoholics don't care that I am there.. If anything they see it as support. I think they like it when people visit because then they can get their own understanding of how the subculture really is and banish any stereotypes.
Describe the way you've represented them.
-I have represented them in a good way. I have made it clear that everyone is struggling with something inside and for these people it just happens to be alcohol. It is truly a life-threatening disease and I think people will respect alcoholics a lot more after hearing what I have to say.
Do you have the authority? Why. Why not.
I think that I have some amount of authority. I am allowed to and even have, ran the meetings before. Even though anyone can run them, I still felt very honored. I wasn't an alcoholic before and I'm not now, but I think that I have lived vicariously through some of the people and gotten into their heads. The information they've shared with me has really given me a credible sense of authority.
I think that I have some amount of authority. I am allowed to and even have, ran the meetings before. Even though anyone can run them, I still felt very honored. I wasn't an alcoholic before and I'm not now, but I think that I have lived vicariously through some of the people and gotten into their heads. The information they've shared with me has really given me a credible sense of authority.
Thursday, April 8, 2010
Maggie Carter Peer Review
1.How does the writer reflect on the interview process? Are the internal thoughts of the writer towards the informant expressed? Quote at least 3 examples.
-I didn't notice internal thoughts of the writer directer at the informant. Mostly provided information on what the informants said and not direct quotes about the questions she asked them.
2.What differences in terms of race, class, gender, etc. are discussed regarding each informant? List examples from each interview segment.
- I don't know much about Sam by the description , I can assume that they are in the same grade. Spencer is a freshman here and is a tall, skinny, boy.
3.How does the writer characterize his or her informant? Do you think there should be more physical description, material description, background, or nonverbal communication to better understand the person and interaction?
-Background info was good... describe nonverbal communication and a physical description of Sam.
4.Do the informants seem to be full characters you could describe with unique worldviews? Quote any examples that helped you know the informant’s worldview.
-I could not assume worldviews accept that they prolly support things like gay marriage and such.
5.Each interview should be distinct from the other and in narrative form. What is the story being told about each interview? Describe them separately here.
She goes back home to interview Sam and the second interview is done here at school.
6.What is the thesis for interview 1? What is the thesis for interview 2? Are these theses truly theses—that is, do they make surprising and specific claims that need support to be accepted by an audience? If not, what’s the problem?
thesis 1- judgement
thesis 2-judgement
The main theme here is judgement but that isnt very surprising to me.. she should dig a little deeper!
Does there seem to be a balance of summary and quotation? Or does one mode seem overused or underused?
More interview, less summary :)
For each interview, what do you think the writer most wanted to know?
1- she wanted to know about when they first came out and what people think about it
2-wanted to know how his parents felt about it
What is the verbal art discussed? Do you think it fits the criteria of verbal art? What’s the deeper level of meaning for the culture?
a piercing maybe?... it doesnt really fit though... needs to add some verbal art!
What new knowledge do you have after reading these interviews? What would you still like to know about the culture?
I knew most of what she talked about just from observing that culture in everyday life
On your copy cross out any portions of the paper you think are irrelevant to understanding the informant, the culture, or the writer’s perspective. Don’t be shy. The writer doesn’t have to take your advice.
Comment on the organization. Does it seem to be working?
Working.. just need more detail
Comment on the writing style. Is it gripping enough to hold an average reader’s attention?
yeah i feel like i can hear her talking when i read it but maybe thats just cause shes in my class!... add more interesting and shocking details that people wouldnt know about!
What’s the single most important thing this writer could do to improve this paper before it’s graded?
just adddd more... get deeper into the subculture?!
Lizzie Abel Peer Review
1. How does the writer reflect on the interview process? Are the internal thoughts of the writer towards the informant expressed? Quote at least 3 examples.
-She should try being a little bit more daring during the interview process. She asked questions that people would ask in normal conversation like, "Were you nervous to join the architecture program?." I feel like that's something my mom would ask me when If I came home for the weekend. She asks, "Were you nervous, like, when you first walked in?" When reading, I felt like I already knew the response before continuing on. He replies by discussing the seat assignment. I think its just a universal truth that you better pick your seat wisely because you have to be around those people all semester.
2. What differences in terms of race, class, gender, etc. are discussed regarding each informant? List examples from each interview segment.
-The first informant is her friend and i would assume is her age. She didn't provide much information on the second informant.
3.How does the writer characterize his or her informant? Do you think there should be more physical description, material description, background, or nonverbal communication to better understand the person and interaction?
-She did a great job of providing a visual picture of the first informant using many descriptive words, however didn't seem to do the same for the second informant. Maybe describe the nonverbal communication a little bit more? Don't neglect the second informant
4. Do the informants seem to be full characters you could describe with unique worldviews? Quote any examples that helped you know the informant’s worldview.
-I would have no idea what type of worldviews these people would have. I could assume based on the description she gave about Alexander- "It's age could symbolize how down to earth Alexander is" that he is probably very chill and has mellow worldviews, although i wouldn't even be able to assume Kileys.
5. Each interview should be distinct from the other and in narrative form. What is the story being told about each interview? Describe them separately here.
-The first informant is interviewed in Lizzie's dorm room and she talks about how she has been good friends with Alexander for a couple years now. I didn't notice the second interview take on a narrative form.
6.What is the thesis for interview 1? What is the thesis for interview 2? Are these theses truly theses—that is, do they make surprising and specific claims that need support to be accepted by an audience? If not, what’s the problem?
1- I found it neat that the different architecture students could all get along with each other, yet at the same time form smaller groups within each other.
2- can't put my finger on it
They aren't very surprising.. I would say the facts are self-explanatory or could be assumed fairly easy.
6.Does there seem to be a balance of summary and quotation? Or does one mode seem overused or underused?
-I would say there is a good balance between summary and quotation.
7.For each interview, what do you think the writer most wanted to know?
-The basic facts of the subculture of architecture
8. What is the verbal art discussed? Do you think it fits the criteria of verbal art? What’s the deeper level of meaning for the culture?
-I didn't see anything about verbal art. She said that she looked for some and couldn't find any. She provided a description of his outfit and that this indicated he was down to earth, but didn't connect that with the subculture.
9.What new knowledge do you have after reading these interviews? What would you still like to know about the culture?
-I learned that a lot of people don't know anything about the architecture program?
10. On your copy cross out any portions of the paper you think are irrelevant to understanding the informant, the culture, or the writer’s perspective. Don’t be shy. The writer doesn’t have to take your advice.
Comment on the organization. Does it seem to be working?
-It's organized. but I only found one thesis.. I think that there should be a thesis after each interview and then a paragraph combining the too or similarities/differences of the two interviews
Comment on the writing style. Is it gripping enough to hold an average reader’s attention?
-I enjoyed her style of writing and word usage. It held my attention
What’s the single most important thing this writer could do to improve this paper before it’s graded?
-just add more detail and put more interesting facts that I would have never thought of
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